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                            The Men's Movement

                                    by
                            Rick Koepcke, M.A.
                          E. James Wilder, Ph.D.

In 1990 the PBS networks aired a special entitled "A Gathering of
Men", in which viewers witnessed men of all ages and backgrounds
coming together to share their hurts, grieve over broker
relationships, and allow themselves to be hugged and comforted by
other men.  This extraordinary scene was presided over and
explained by Robert Bly, a poet and author of a new book, Iron
John.  As interviewed by Bill Moyers, Bly explained that these
men were learning to express the grief and rage they felt at
being cut off from their fathers an other men, and were now
connecting to what suppressed by modern society.  Thus were many
people introduced for the first time to what has come to be
called the Men's Movement, and to some of its central figures and
themes.

This article will attempt to outline the growth and dynamics
behind the men's movement, both in its secular and Christian
variations, with special emphasis on the psychological and
pastoral implications for the Church.  Whatever one may believe
about some of the manifestations of the movement, we believe it
is not something that those in Church leadership can afford to
overlook, simply because it does involve men, and seems to be
catching their imaginations and passions in a way the Church has
not done in the last few decades.  This article is aimed
primarily at pastors and others in ministry positions who hope to
reach men and are concerned about the lack of male involvement in
the Church today.  This explanation of the men's movement, its
key elements, and the potential it affords the Church, will help
those in ministry with ability and courage take hold of this
opportunity.

The authors are both licensed therapists practicing in
California.  Or practice is made up primarily of men, the
majority of which are Christians.  The issues raised by the men's
movement are issues which we see our clients struggling with
frequently, in various guises and degrees.  It is our hope and
belief that much of the psychological and spiritual healing
needed by our male clients would come from the community of
believers, and specifically other men in the Body.  This, of
course, presupposes that there are men with sufficient health and
desire to have something to offer these men.  We believe that a
knowledge and understanding  of the issues raised by the men's
movement, coupled with a willingness to aggressively address
those issues, will influence the Church's effectiveness in
reaching the men of our society in the next few decades.

HISTORY OF THE MOVEMENT
The men's movement did not suddenly spring into being at the
filming of Bill Moyer's documentary, as it may appear, but
actually has its origins in the women's liberation movement of
the sixties and seventies.  Without going into all the social and
political aspects of the women's movement, we can recognize the
fact that changes in women's roles encouraged by that phenomenon
dictated changes for men as well, although this had been less
readily acknowledged.  Some men in the seventies embraced the
freedom from traditional sex roles offered by feminism and
responded with their own "movement" of sorts.  This early
response can probably best be labeled a men's sensitivity
movement", and was documented in Warren Farrel's 1976 book, The
Liberated Male.  Unlike the current men's movement which
emphasizes and extols masculine characteristics, this earlier
movement focused more on changing  the way men viewed women, and
encouraging men to develop their own "feminine" qualities, such
as sensitivity and nurturing.  In this way it actually had more
in common with the women's movement than the current men's
movement, as espoused by Bly and others.

THE CURRENT MOVEMENT
The real advent of a men's movement has occurred in the last few
years, as men began to change the way they viewed themselves.
Robert Bly, John Lee and others began celebrating masculinity and
masculine characteristics as positive and necessary to our
society.  The leaders of the current men's movement lean heavily
on "methopoetic" figures such as Ulysses, Hercules, and Pan, in
an effort to get men in touch with the "wild man" within.  Robert
Bly's book, Iron John, is a celebration of this wild man,
devalued and emasculated by society, but ready to roar into life
again with some drum-beating and other exercises shared with
fellow "warriors".  Bly's book, which is based upon an old Norse
fairy tale about a wild man who lives in the woods and helps the
king's son save his kingdom, touches upon many of the important
tenets of the secular men's movement:
     (1) The need to re-connect to the "Wild Man" within us;
     (2) The need to separate from the too powerful mother (and
from other women to whom we have given too much power);
     (3) The terrible effects of being cut off from the father
(the "father wound");
     (4)The need for mentors to show us the secrets of re-
connecting to our masculine energy.
The discussion of these points is carried out in the midst of
much Jungian analysis and New Age-sounding ritual, as the men try
to reach back to something old and primal.  Tribal customs and
even shamanism can emerge here.

Bly identifies several enemies of the masculine soul.  The first
villain is the Industrial Revolution, which separated sons from
their fathers at work, thereby interfering with normal father-son
bonding.  Bly asserts that every generation of men since the
Industrial Revolution is worse off than the one before because of
this lack of connection.

Another of Bly's villains is religion, and Christianity in
particular.  He sees Christianity as a religion that robbed the
old gods of their sexuality; it is accused of "cutting the legs
off the goat and making it a snake".  In other words Christianity
is an emasculating force in the world, used by mothers and
emasculated priests to get their sons to be "nice boys" and so
kill the Wild Man within.1

Much of the focus of the men's movement, at weekend gatherings
and weekly meetings,m is to help men uncover the pain of the
"father-wound", the loss that men felt as boys in not being able
to connect to their fathers in meaningful ways.  Bly asserts that
grief, not anger, is the most important emotion for men to
experience in connection to this wound.  Thus men are encouraged
to grieve together, to weep for themselves and each other, over
the shortcomings of their fathers and all that they missed.  They
also frequently confront the pain they themselves may have
caused, as fathers. and husbands, as a result of their won
wounding.  Participants in the movement are encouraged to look to
each other to at least partially meet some of those needs for
fathers, brothers, and the "mentoring" needed to heal their
masculinity.  The strengths and problems with this approach will
be examined later in this article.

THE SIX STREAMS OF THE CHRISTIAN MEN'S MOVEMENT:
The Christian men's movement, although more recently developed,
probably has more diversity than the secular movement at this
point.  We can identify sex different "streams" feeding the
fledgling Christian movement at this time.

1)   Men's Liberation: a "men can feel too" reaction to women's
     liberation.
2)   Athletics: Promise Keepers fellowships
3)   Men need healing: recognition of men's emotional wounds
4)   Fathering: reaction to custody disputes and abandoned
     children.
5)   Male sexuality: a reaction to the sexual revolution and an
     attempt to redeem injured sexuality.
6)   Marriage advocates: a "men should be good husbands" response
     to the divorce rates.

Stream One: Men's Liberation
This part of the movement flowed from the secular men's
sensitivity movement of the seventies, mentioned above.  Jack
Balswick,a Christian sociologist and professor, wrote The
Inexpressive Male to liberate Christian men from traditional
stereotypical male roles.  This movement continues in educated
circles in such works as "Men Have Feelings Too!" by Brian Jones
and Linda Phillips-Jones.  A 1992 seminar on marital therapy was
entitled "Why Can't a Man be more like a Woman", in mocking
reference to Professor Higgin's words in My Fair Lady.

In the late sixties and early seventies, Christian seminars on
masculinity were usually taught by women, for women.  To have two
men for every fifty women attending was considered a good margin.
Masculinity was compassionately viewed through the expression,
"the fragile male ego."  During this era, a Protestant missionary
from Austria named Walter Trobisch wrote a book he entitled "The
Pain of Being a Man", which publishers promptly retitled "All a
Man Can Be (and What a Woman Should Know)."  Trobisch wrote of
the pain in men's lives in a way that asked others to have mercy
on men because they were limited by their pain, and not the all-
powerful ogres that women's liberation seemed to imply. "Man is
suffering by women don't know it", says the forward to Trobisch's
book.

Stream Two: Athletics
The closest thing to a Protestant men's movement is the "Promise
Keepers."  This was the brain child of coach Bill McCartney.  In
July of 1992, 22,000 men gathered in the Colorado rain to hear
Dave Simmons, and ex-football coach turned fathering advocate,
author Edwin Cole, counselor Larry Crabb, Pentecostal pastor Jack
Hayford, minister turned-counselor Gary Smalley, old-fashioned
Gospel preacher Dr. E. V. Hill, Hill, Vineyard pastor and author
Gordon Dalbey and the director of the National Center for
Fathering, Ken Canfield.

These men plus a few others constitute the closest approximation
of a Christian men's movement.  Their approach to men comes out
of the coaching and sports metaphor, which says: Men are in need
of the right coaching to be able to preform as they need to in
their families, work and church.  The conference featured
encouragement, admonition, and exhortation.  Founders hope to
attract 100,000 men in the next two years.  Since sports is
perhaps the major hub of masculine culture in the United States,
it has provided a common language for many divergent "coaches of
men" to proclaim their message.  Even a cursory analysis of these
speakers will express a number of different forces among men.

Stream Three: Healing
Gordon Dalbey was the first man to pick up the influence of the
secular men's movement and extend it into the Church in his book,
"Healing the Masculine Soul".  It was a book by a man for men.
He called for truth and strength in men's lives but, unlike his
predecessors, he followed the lead of Leanne Payne in believing
that healing the male soul preceded exhortation.  It is through
healing, Dalbey emphasized, and particularly healing prayer, that
the Father God would heal men and allow them to receive and act
on exhortation.  In both this book and his subsequent work,
"Father and Son,  Dalbey resists the idea that telling men what
they must do, or even pressing them for commitment to action,
will produce change.  Change, for Dalbey, comes through healing
encounters with God.  It is only after such an encounter that
commitment and exhortation are beneficial or even possible.
Dalbey stands somewhat alone as a voice calling for healing
before exhortation and commitment.

Stream Four: Fathering
Ken Canfield, of the National Center of Fathering, entered the
men's movement through fathering concerns.  While Dalbey
addressed the need for sons to be healed, Canfield moved towards
fathers and their needs.  He produces tests of fathering styles
and other aids.  In his book, "The Seven Secrets of Effective
Fathers", Canfield leans toward education and support from wives
and other men as the primary means of change for fathers.  His
style is gentle and colloquial, his message well-organized and
simple.  He and Dalbey have in common that they do not believe
men can succeed by trying harder.

Stream Five: Male Sexuality
Leanne Payne followed Trobisch in the field of masculine
sexuality.  In her books "The Broken Image", "Healing the
Homosexual", and "Crisis in Masculinity", Payne applies the
principles of healing prayer and a somewhat Jungian view of human
development and trauma to the problem of male sexual preference.
The basic formula is simple: men who fail to bond with their
fathers experience a great injury and deformity in their
masculinity.  While this deformity can take many shapes, it is
only solved by bonding with the father and, in the absence of a
healthy father, with the Father God.  This bonding and
instruction in maleness is something men must do for each other,
according to Payne.

Stream Six: Marriage Advocates
Gary Smalley and John Trent, authors of several Christian books,
become well-know advocates for women among evangelicals.  They
appeal to roughly the same audience that listens to Dobson's
"Focus on the Family", a show overwhelmingly geared for women.
They continue to advocate for women in their latest book.  "The
Hidden Value of a Man", published by Focus on the Family.  They
come into the men's movement as marriage advocates, by which we
mean that their focus is more toward saving marriages that saving
men.  Their books emphasize the man's role in living up to his
responsibility to his wife, to the extent that more than one of
our clients, in reading Smalley's books, have commented, "I don't
think he likes men very much".  Unlike the human sexuality
advocates who focus on men's pain, this group focuses on men's
power (their responsibility as head of their family) and their
failure to use that power correctly.  Marriage advocates
represent in general the "admonish and exhort" school of change
because they view men as being essentially intact.  Steve
Farrar's book "Point Man", Edwin Cole's "Real Man", Robert Hicks'
"Uneasy Manhood",  and Patrick Morley's "The Man in the Mirror"
follow essentially this approach.

Criticisms of the Movement:
There are some who cynically say that the Christian men's
movement is a creation of book publishers eager to find a way to
move into the male market segment.  Most Christian books are sold
to women, and this opportunity is too good to pass up.  A more
serious objection raised to both the secular and Christian men's
movement is that it is just another attempt to avoid personal
responsibility by conveniently blaming one's parents, in this
case father, for one's woes.  The secular men's movement is made
up of "whiners" who live in the past, blaming their parents for
whatever is not working in their present lives, and refusing to
"get on with things" and take charge of their own lives.

To understand the men's movement, it is necessary to have a clear
understanding of the concept of blame.  Participants are charged
with avoiding responsibility by putting the blame on their
fathers.  In this respect, the emphasis on the "father wound"
described in the secular literature by Bly et. al. and in the
Christian literature by Dalbey, is seen as blaming the father for
the son's problem.  While it is not without reason to assume that
some people will use any explanation as an opportunity to blame
someone, we suspect that this criticism has its roots in the
critic's own unwillingness to face the wounds in his own past, as
well as a tendency to blame others.

We need to make a clear distinction between description and
blame.  For instance, when God interviewed the pair in the Garden
of Eden, his question was descriptive: ""What happened here?"
The man's answer was blaming or accusatory: "It's the woman's
fault."  In describing what is wrong with men, it is impossible
to avoid mention of their fathers.  Indeed, to avoid mention of
the father would be to conclude that the father has no effect on
his children, hardly a reasonable conclusion.  As the men's
movement has highlighted the father and given him honor, they
have also pointed out the effects of his impact, whether good or
bad.  To those who view explanations as descriptions of history,
blame is added only if it can be shown that the father
intentionally and knowingly produced the damage.  There are no
significant writings in the Christian men's movement that make
that claim.  The prevailing view of fathers is that they do not
know what they have to give and are uncertain how to give much of
what they do have.

ANALYSIS OF THE SECULAR MOVEMENT
A. Positive Aspects:
The secular men's movement has three major contributions to make
to the understanding of men in our society.  Two stand out
because the truth they express has been forgotten, and the third
points to a deficit in most Christian churches.

1) First of all, men are wounded.  The dismal statistics of
divorce, spousal and child abuse, addictive behaviors, all are
evidence of the brokenness that men, particularly, feel in our
culture.  Men are recognizing their brokenness, and reaching out
for healing and direction in surprising numbers. The movement
itself, along with the burgeoning number of 12-step, recovery and
self-help groups, is further evidence of men's awareness and
willingness to seek help.  In our own practices, we have seen an
increased willingness in men to enter therapy to deal with heir
own issues, and not simply as a last-ditch effort to save a
crumbling marriage.  The secular men's movement puts a great
focus on the father's role and responsibility in creating the
"father wound."  It is hard to argue with the validity of their
argument.  The importance of the father is building character and
being a life-giver/protector in, of course, a rather prominent
Biblical concept.

2) Second, men need role models.  The demand is growing for
mentors, father-figures, and brothers, to grieve together, affirm
each other and heal the wounds.  Much of the strength of the
secular movement comes from giving men permission to need other
men.  They are encouraged to connect with each other on a level
not previously experienced by most men.  Perhaps there has never
been a time when the adult male has so felt both the need and the
absence of male role models to set the course for masculine
growth.  As Dalbey has pointed out in his books, the old
WWII/John Wayne model of masculinity is no longer valid, rejected
by the anti-war, question-authority dogma of the Sixties.,
Desiring to not be our fathers, to not be the unfeeling macho-
stereotype, to be sensitive to women's needs, many men have
become what Bly calls "soft" males: caring, sensitive men who
lack courage, determination and the will to stand for something.
This sense of lostness, of needing role models, had profound and
exciting implications for the Church.

3) Third, the secular movement promotes men being vulnerable with
other men.  Unlike the first two strengths of the secular
movement, this one stands out in contrast to the Christian
church, especially the evangelical/Holiness traditions.  The
emphasis on being born again/Spirit-filled/sanctified has dept
men hidden and alone with their brokenness, afraid to admit
humanness, sin, or even inadequate partenting.  The Good News of
the Gospel is that all things have become new,  leaving many men
embarrassed and unsure of what to do with the parts of them that
still seem very much like their old, carnal selves.  Thus, the
isolation from others that many men express is exacerbated in the
case of the Christian man, who is afraid of being "disqualified"
as a Christian if he should share his weaknesses with a brother.
This extreme sense of isolation, and the strong fear of rejection
that goes along with it, is on of the most common dynamics we
encounter in the men we counsel.  Many Christians (especially
evangelicals) are still uncomfortable with the full extent to
which our humanity has been damaged by sin.  When dealing with
emotional wounds, Christians have frequently applied a bandaid
and a prayer when surgery is indicated.  Even traditions that
encourage confession do so in the isolation of a confessional,
away from the community of other men.  The secular men's movement
has done a better job of accepting the brokenness of humanity.
Without a stake in appearing righteous, their meeting proclaim
loudly and clearly the pain they feel and the deficits it has
produced in their lives.  Where does the Christian man, the
deacon or minister, have to go with that kind of confession?
Within the secular movement such confessions are addressed
because they directly relate to men's pain.  It is through this
pain and consequent grief that men form bonds that heal.  This is
the truth behind all the jokes about male bonding.

Negative Aspects of the Secular Movement:
As important and valid as some of the basic tenets of the secular
movement are, there are inherent weaknesses in the movement which
also cannot be overlooked.  The secular world does not make the
mistake of minimizing the pain; however, perhaps the reason the
father wound is displayed so glaringly in secular writings is
that leaders of the secular movement are not connected to the
source of healing for that wound.  They are unwilling to take the
last, courageous step, the "leap of faith" to connect to God as
Father.  They are quite aware, and willing to face the damage
done by sin in their fathers' lives and their own.  Unable to
find a remedy for the damage, however, they settle for suffering
together, crying together, beating out their rage together on
drums that echo into empty skies.  They have not realized that
the blessing of the Father is stronger that the curse of the
father.  Thus, what comes through in their writings, over and
over again, is the depth and intensity of the father wound, in
which without access to a viable cure, they remain absorbed.

ANALYSIS OF THE CHRISTIAN MOVEMENT
A. Positive Aspects:
Besides the obvious advantage of being tied in to eternal truth,
the Christian men's movement does have some distinct advantages
over its secular counterpart.

1) The first of these is the sheer diversity of the movement.
The Christian movement includes the six streams, as already
stated, and numerous Christian organizations to call men from
different points of interest, from the Fellowship of Christians
Anglers Society, to the Promise Keepers' groups, to Ken
Canfield's fathering groups.  Men do not have to be persuaded to
run off into the woods and beat drums to find a place in this
movement.

2) Along with the diversity, there is also greater unity than in
the secular movement.  This unity stems in part form the fact
that Christian men already belong to a smaller subsystem of
society, and feel rather firmly linked together by a common
belief system.  Christian men are probably more keenly invested
in retaining that unity, whereas the secular movement already
shows signs of splintering as different leaders pursue their own
agendas, sometimes without high regard for the effect on the
overall movement.  Despite the different streams of the Christian
movement, commonalty of values and general purpose will likely
keep the streams flowing towards the same end.

3) This unity is enhanced by the fact that the Church has
existing networks for reaching men.  The denominations
themselves, in the Protestant world, provide many points of
contact with men.  While these organizations have not always been
employed effectively to reach men in the past, there does exist
at least the possibility of doing so.  The secular men's movement
has the task of finding ways to reach men with good news that
there is a place for the wounded; the Church already has many
distribution networks in place, if they can and will use them.

4)  Perhaps not surprisingly, considering the traditionally high
involvement of women in churches, the Christian men's ,movement
also has the advantage of having both men and women involved - as
writers, healers, and teachers.  As noted earlier, Christian
women seem to be more compassionate and patient of men in the
process of healing that their secular counterparts.  It is hard
to imagine a woman with the wisdom and grace of Leanne Payne, for
instance, speaking as a voice for men in the secular movement.

B. Negative Aspects:
With all of its strengths of diversity and unity, there are some
subtle currents coursing through the streams of the Christian
men's movement that have the potential of throwing it off-course
before it is able to reach its full measure of power and force.

1) First, the danger of excesses of exhortation.  As stated
earlier, many of the leaders in the Christian movement come out
of the coaching/sports mind set (Simmons, McCartney) or from the
pastor/evangelist mode (Smalley, E.V. Hill).  They emphasize
encouragement, exhortation and admonition: "This is what's wrong
with you men, now let's try it again."  The coaches may use
sports metaphors and concentrate on "better techniques" to fix
things, while the pastors use scripture to point out men's
potentials or shortcomings and exhort them with what God expects
from them.  There appears to be an underlying assumption among
exhorters and marriage advocates that men's decisions are the
problem.  Everything would be alright (with the marriage, the
family, the Church) if only men would do something -- like keep
their promises.  Men are portrayed as indifferent and uninvolved,
rascals and scoundrels,m or bumbling, inept Dagwood Bumstead-
types who need women to save them from themselves.  Exhorters are
far more likely to make the man the "heavy" in the marital or
family situation.  Consider the difference in tone of most
Mother's Day sermons as compared to the exhortations to men on
Father's Day.  Women are almost universally praised and honored,
while a sermon for fathers is likely to be followed by an alter
call, to give men an opportunity to confess their shortcomings
and sins.  These subtle (and not so subtle) messages reinforce a
vague but persistent feeling in many men; a deep, gnawing feeling
of shame about being male, that the Church has often reinforced.
Thus, for some Christian men, the "wounding" that the secular
movement has identified is exacerbated by another standard to be
measured against' another avenue in which to feel the shame of
failure.

Although there is certainly value and merit in exhortation and
accountability, this is most likely to be successful in the
context of unconditional acceptance and vulnerability, as occurs
when men are given permission to be "broken" with each other and
thus break through the isolation that so many men feel.  We
recognize that not all men are broken and wounded (although our
professional experience tells us that the majority are, to some
degree); however, one of the main thrust of the men's movement is
to allow men to recognize the wounds that are present.  There is
no healing possible without a thorough examination of the wound.
Bly speaks of the danger of "ascending when we should be
descending,"  which seems to be a natural tendency of men, both
secular and Christian.  This is our concern with groups such as
the Promise Keepers.  While some men are intact enough for the
accountability and exhortation offered by such groups, others
will attempt to "ascend" rather than do the difficult and painful
work of descending into their pain and brokenness.

2) Closely related to this is the danger of under-estimating the
wound.  The assumption that men can change simply by "trying
harder" is rather demeaning to the many men who feel they have
been "trying harder" without success; and more importantly, it
ignores the issue of the wound within the man that may be
rendering him incapable of making the desired changes in his
life.  Men struggling with sexual addictions or unwanted
homosexual tendencies, for instance, have a wound underneath
needing to be healed, of which the troubling behavior is a
symptom.  When the wound is uncovered, allowing the real need to
surface and be tended to, the behavior can be dealt with.  If the
leaders of the fledgling Christian movement attempt to avoid the
wounds that men suffer and move straight to exhortation and
admonition, the Church may find itself with fewer men, and those
that are left more damaged and incapable of succeeding as men
than before.

         THE FATHER WOUND: THEOLOGICAL IMPLICATION OF THE MOVEMENT
            "Show us the Father and that will be enough for us"
                                                  (John 14:8)

Returning to the main tenets of the men's movement, we can
discover some striking affinities between the needs of men, as
presented by the men's movement, and what scripture claims God
offers his children.  Here are the psychological and pastoral
implications of the three main tenets of the men's movement.

1) First, the men's movement asserts that brokenness and
woundedness are inherent in men today.  From a theological and
pastoral point of view, we could affirm the fact that sin has
left us all broken and wounded.  Children suffer for their
fathers' sins "to the third and fourth generations."  Since the
recognition of sin, or brokenness, is the beginning of healing,
we in the Church should welcome this willingness by men to face
their brokenness, recognizing that we have the solution to man's
deepest brokenness.

2) Secondly, the men's movement recognizes the need for men to
have models, to teach them how to be men.  Jesus is just such a
model and contrary to Bly, not  an emasculated one.  He did not
simply teach men, or issue proclamations from a mountaintop; he
chose men to live in community with him.  Along with truths of
the Kingdom that he was imparting to them, Jesus (who had his
Father's heart) also changed who they were and how they lived.
In the book of Acts, the model of the early Church features the
Gospel being propagated through mentoring relationships: Barnabas
to Paul, Paul to Timothy and others, Timothy to the pastors under
him.  "And the things you have heard me say...entrust to reliable
men who will also be qualified to teach others."  We frequently
hear of men desperately longing for older men in the church to
disciple and mentor them.  If they ask, they are often told that
there is no one in the church to do that; they're on their own.
This obvious need is an opportunity that the Church can ill
afford to overlook.  And yet, if the men in the Church are not
willing to look at their won wounds and be healed, they will not
have the wholeness needed to offer these young disciples.

3) The third need,m which the men's movement recognizes so well,
is that men need to be vulnerable to other men for the healing to
occur.  What will it take for an atmosphere of vulnerability an
openness to prevails  in the community of believers, especially
among male leaders?  We have all seen, with painful clarity, the
results of men in the Church isolation themselves, without
accountability or community to remind them of their humanness.
Can we learn from these painful lessons, and from what the
secular movement is showing us about the power of transparency,
to attempt to re-institute the spirit of openness that seems to
have existed in the early Church?  How did Paul know about all
the ugly secrets of the early Christians' past, unless they had
had the freedom to share that information with him?  They
apparently confessed to being idolaters, male prostitutes,
thieves, adulterers, drunkards - "for that is what some of you
were," (I Cor. 6:9).  We desperately need to regain the spirit
that James assumed would prevail among believers, who would
confess their sins to each other to receive healing (James 5:16).

At the core of the men's movement, behind the need for
vulnerability, reparenting and mentoring from other men, looms
the spectra of the father wound: a kind of Grand Canyon left in
the soul of contemporary man. And at the heart of this wound lies
the fact (missed completely by the secular movement) that no
earthly father, no matter how lovingly affirming and involved he
may be with his son, is going to perfectly fill that void.
Dalbey comments eloquently in "Healing the Masculine Soul", "The
danger of loving relationships is not in receiving love from
another human being, but in believing that the other person is
the source of that love."  He goes on to demonstrate from
scripture that only the Father-God had "all the father's
characteristics needed by the son."  Only when men return to him
as the source of love, acceptance and guidance,m can they become
the men they were meant to be.  This is the truth that the
secular men's movement is unwilling to grasp,  and which the
Christian community must embrace, if we are to offer men both the
hope of real healing and the challenge of true masculinity
embodied by Jesus Christ, the leader of men.

CONCLUSION
The secular men's movement is doomed to failure because it is
unwilling to connect to the Role Model, the Source of all
masculinity, Jesus Christ.  The Church must examine itself
seriously to see what we have done with/to Jesus that has caused
the secular man, desperate as he is for a role model and
leadership, to reject the best of all models.  With costly
honesty we must offer such models as we have among us of
strength, courage, and masculine character.  It is the burden of
the men of this generation to give to others what they themselves
never received.

1 An excellent discussion of the secular men's movement's
dissatisfaction with the Church can be found in Ch. 13 of
Dalbey's book, "Father and Son".


                       BACK ISSUES AND ARTICLES LISTING

     Vol. 1         Manhood in Crisis
                    Counterfeit Love
                    Finding Life in Betrayal (Part 1)
                    God, You Just Don't Understand
                    The Invisible Man
                    The Absolutes of Homosexuality
                    I need a "Quick Fix"
                    Testimony of a Sex Addict
                    Poem: Sitting on the Edge

     Vol. 2         Sexual Problems in the Clergy
                    Living with Betrayal (Part 2)
                    Freedom From Sexual Addiction
                    Poem: Feeding My Master
                    Book Review: "Secrets of Your Family Tree"
                    Poem: Wedding Day

     Vol. 3         Do Real Men go to Church
                    Don't Curse the Road to Paradise
                    My Father's Blessing
                    What Grows on the Family Tree?
                    Poem: By Brother's Room

     Vol. 4         Anger, Grief and Getting Unstuck in Recovery
                    Men & Sexual Abuse - Can Men Be Vicuims?
                    Poem: Streams of My Youth
                    Men on the Ropes
                    What Will They Say About You
                    Little White Boy

You may contact Tracks in the Sand at: 714/-751-1012 or by writing to
PO Box 1828, Tustin, CA, 92680 or by e-mail to GSK502 AOL and CompuServe
71461,166 there are sample copies of current issues available upon request.

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